Finding Queer Joy

Mike Doughty, March Newsletter ‘24

A constant struggle for a lot of LGBTQ folks is finding support and community, especially in rural areas. Oftentimes, when LGBTQ news is talked about, the narrative is focused on queer suffering. While addressing the issues and violence around those events, it’s important to remember that we can work to end suffering while also working to enable and build queer joy. That support and community can bring security, safety, and joy in knowing people around you have that connection to you. It can take time to build that community and put in the work for those supports, but finding queer joy can be easy to find and create yourself.

Queer joy is the positive feelings that LGBTQ folks get from being in spaces designed for them, and most of the time, designed by them. There is a freedom of expression in these spaces that gives every LGBTQ person there a feeling of hope, happiness, and a mix of other good, sometimes overwhelming, feelings. Obvious places to find queer joy would be Pride events and drag shows, and a lot of work goes into those events, but I want to talk about finding and growing queer joy on a smaller, more individual level.

Expression-

The first thing I want to talk about when it comes to queer joy is expression. Some people may not be able to express themselves for safety reasons, but if you are able to do so, let your expression shine. Wear what you want, do your hair and makeup how you want, and show off your pride and affirm yourself. Even if you don’t realize it, seeing someone being openly proud and out can give someone hope that they can do that too. They can look at you and feel so happy to know that you are able to show yourself.

Creation-

The next thing is to create! This could be doing your own art, music, and writing, and getting it out into your network and community. You can also work on making your own groups for LGBTQ folks to create spaces where queer joy can really grow. It may be slow to start, especially in rural areas, but keep it up and people will show. When it comes to queer joy, even making that connection with one other person is a huge step. Also, try to see what other groups are already available in your community that you can join and work with to expand both what you do and what they are doing. It may take some digging but there are groups all over the place.

Support-

A large part of queer joy is the support from those around us. Getting praise for your art, or feedback on a speech or written piece, or even just checking in with those in your group can mean a lot. Queer joy often comes with a lot of big emotions – being at a Pride event and suddenly feeling like crying because you saw strangers supporting each other – and knowing that it is safe to let those big emotions out and that other people are feeling very similar big emotions, can help with forming bonds and building community. It’s also important that any ally in these spaces is diligent to be the voice to push back against any outsider trying to disrupt that support. An ally might be able to enjoy queer joy themselves, but in those moments it is more important that they are the protectors of that joy, should it get invaded.

These are just some starting blocks on finding queer joy, and it might look different from one person to the next, but in this time of LGBTQ folks being targeted, I think it is important to find that joy and never let go of it. Let that joy grow and let it connect to other LGBTQ folks and build those networks and communities. Queer joy is a revolutionary act, it’s an incredible form of protection, and it is one of the strongest ways to express yourself.