Advice and Tips Column

Mike Doughty Mike Doughty

Center Update!

Hello everyone! I just wanted to take a moment to announce to everyone that Pride Season is almost here and the Cortland LGBTQ Center is hard at work to bring a range of events this summer! While Pride is celebrated in June, Pride Season is not just one month, and it is important to remind folks that the LGBTQ community is here year round. The Center will have our normally planned monthly groups and events, so keep an eye out for those as the season gets closer!

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Mike Doughty Mike Doughty

The Ripple Effect of Empowerment: How Small Acts Create Big Change

(Written by Advisory Board Member Garry Haraveth) Empowerment doesn’t have to be grand or revolutionary to be impactful. Small, everyday acts of self-empowerment have the potential to inspire more significant movements, leading to justice, equity, and systemic change. When one person finds their voice, stands in their truth, and claims their worth, the effects ripple outward—touching friends, family, and entire communities. Social change always begins with individuals who recognize their power and use it to create a meaningful impact.

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Mike Doughty Mike Doughty

Being Safe Online

I know I have talked a lot in the past about staying safe, and I believe I have touched on this topic at least a little bit when talking about relationships, but I felt it important to dive back into some ways to stay safe while being online. Being online has become such a big part of our lives that we sometimes forget that there are potential risks– falling for a scam, posting too much information, or someone trying to take advantage of you. Even if you know what to look out for, it’s also important to check in with those you are close to and make sure that they also know at least some ways to stay safe.

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Mike Doughty Mike Doughty

Current Political Landscape

Most of my articles for the newsletter pull inspiration from things I’ve heard during a training at work, conversations I’ve had with friends, or my own experiences or the experiences from folks in the community. Today’s is no different, but I will be talking about the current state of the country and things I’ve seen or have picked up on and hopefully it can help you as the reader find some kind of footing in this chaos.

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Mike Doughty Mike Doughty

Addressing Shame

We are all familiar with shame and how it can make us feel small, or anxious, or guilty, or like nothing we do is good enough. Shame can cause or come from all of those feelings and more, and it’s often seen as a terrible thing, and while I don’t think shame is a fun emotion, I do think it can be a good learning point about how you are handling situations where shame might come up. I want to explore different kinds of shame, what we might be able to learn or use from that shame, and hopefully make shame a less powerful emotion so that we can learn with curiosity and growth.

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Mike Doughty Mike Doughty

End of the Year Thanks!

With the holiday season here, I wanted to take a moment to look back at what the Center was able to do this year and thank all of the support we got at our events, the folks who invited us to do trainings and talks, and the participants at the Center-led groups. 

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Mike Doughty Mike Doughty

Election Self-Care

By the time this newsletter comes out we will most likely know the outcome of the 2024 Election. For many communities, not just LGBTQ+ communities, there is a lot of stress around the election. I won’t take up time going into all of the reasons, but the stress is there and I’m hoping this article can help offer some ways to at least remind people to take care of themselves and try to let go of some of the stress.

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Mike Doughty Mike Doughty

Expression, Perception, and Policing

Many people can bring a specific image to mind when they think “what does a gay person look like” or “what does a trans person look like” or any other thought along those lines of thinking. The mind is very good at holding onto and creating patterns and that is where a lot of stereotypes start. Someone notices a pattern, either real or assumed, and maybe mentions it to a friend and then it goes from there. Sometimes this pattern recognition is how folks in certain communities can easily find and see each other out in the world, but other times it can lead to assuming that someone doesn’t fit in or check enough “boxes” to be part of the group. This month I want to talk about the ways expression and perception can play into each other and how people interact with each other and how that can lead to policing people. 

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Mike Doughty Mike Doughty

Online Dating

Online dating is not a new thing in our society, and with the number of apps and websites designed to get you a date or a spouse or even a friend for an evening, most people are familiar with how they work. They can be a great way to meet new people if you are looking for friends or potential dates, but there are also a lot of risks and emotional traps involved with online dating. I wanted to use this month's newsletter as a way to address some of those potential risks, especially as a lot of people are usually in some kind of transition during the late summer/early fall with college starting up, coming back from summer vacations, and the looming holiday season.

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Mike Doughty Mike Doughty

Building Confidence: “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.”

(Written by Advisory Board member Garry Haraveth) As someone who has navigated the ups and downs of personal and professional growth, I’ve learned a lot about the importance of confidence. Confidence isn’t just about feeling sure of yourself; it’s about taking action even when you have doubts. Over time, I’ve realized that confidence is essential for achieving our goals. Today, I’ll share my insights and experiences on building one’s confidence and how empowerment plays a crucial role in fostering this confidence.

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