Making a Statement
This segment will go over various ways to be a better Ally to the LGBTQ+ people in your life. Keep in mind that being an Ally is NOT something you ARE but something you DO. It takes constant work and if you slip up it’s important to listen to what your LGBTQ+ friends and family are telling you in how to be better. This segment will also go over some ways to keep self-care in mind when dealing with specific issues. Now let’s talk about-
Making a Statement
Pride season is winding down, but Pride and allyship are year-round! While Cortland Pride this year, for the first time, had no protesters, that does not mean that anti-LGBTQ messaging has stopped. Now you may not see or hear openly hateful messages online or in your personal life, but those people are still out there, and I was recently reminded of a very helpful tactic on seeing who those people are and being able to block them (if it’s an online space), assess your social circles (if in person), or at the very least be aware of who might be raising some red flags (in either your personal or professional life).
Make a statement. It can be something as simple as making a banner on your social media a rainbow or trans flag with your logo over it. It can even be a bold statement such as “Fascists, homophobes, transphobes NOT WELCOME” that you include in your rules page of a Discord server or online page. This might seem like it doesn’t do anything, or that you’re stating the obvious depending on the groups you run in, but it can have very immediate effects, which you can capitalize on to make your spaces safer for marginalized folks.
What normally happens, regardless if the space is virtual or in person, is the people that genuinely don’t care or don’t know about the symbol/message your flying will just think it’s a design choice, the people who are part of those marginalized communities (such as trans people if you fly the trans flag colors, or people of color if you call our racists) will feel supported and have a safe space, and then the people that you are saying to stay away will almost immediately out themselves. They will make some kind of comment or talk about how your statement is a stupid rule and that it doesn’t matter, or in some cases outright say they are part of some racist or TERF or fascist group.
If you state clearly that that behavior is not allowed or permitted in your space, don’t debate them, don’t get into a “well they aren’t that bad” mentality. Block them. Maybe send them a message that they broke your groups rules but block them. Keep them out of your space so that the people who are there can enjoy a comfortable and safe time. If this is an in-person group, blocking looks like asking them to leave, having some kind of write up system where they can’t come back after so many strikes (it can be 1!), and also making sure they know exactly why you are telling them to leave. Again, don’t debate them, if they want to dig themselves a hole and show their behavior, all the more reason to show them the door.
Now, depending on how many people come out of the woodworks if you chose to make a statement like this, it may appear that you are suddenly losing a lot of engagement or clients or customers. But it will level out pretty quickly, and the communities you are supporting will see what you are doing and spread the word that there is a safe place for them. You will be able to recover from the momentary loss, all by just making a statement to not allow terrible behaviors in your space. This takes a decent amount of privilege, especially for in-person spaces, and the resilience to deal with what could be one or two people or could be many many people depending on your popularity and connections. If you aren’t online, start with your staff, get them all on the same page of what your business stands for and who you want to do business with.