Building Confidence: “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.”
Written by Advisory Board Member, Garry Haraveth.
As someone who has navigated the ups and downs of personal and professional growth, I’ve learned a lot about the importance of confidence. Confidence isn’t just about feeling sure of yourself; it’s about taking action even when you have doubts. Over time, I’ve realized that confidence is essential for achieving our goals. Today, I’ll share my insights and experiences on building one’s confidence and how empowerment plays a crucial role in fostering this confidence.
Understanding Confidence
Confidence is an internal feeling that you’re on the right path. It’s the ability to stay focused and maintain your desire to proceed, even in the face of potential failure. Confidence allows you to learn and adapt, which is crucial for personal growth.
My Journey to Confidence
My journey with confidence began early. Before kindergarten, I wasn’t socialized outside my family, making starting school scary. I remember not wanting to go to kindergarten and often hiding from my mother. In first grade, my teacher would make me repeat: "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…" like the Little Engine that Could, to encourage me to learn how to read. This early experience planted a seed of perseverance, even if confidence was still elusive.
High school was particularly challenging for my confidence. I often didn’t feel like I fit in and found myself seeking places to eat my lunch in solitude, whether in the boys' cross-country locker room or the biology lab. These experiences of isolation and self-doubt made it hard to feel confident. I missed many opportunities and experiences, whether not attending events or asking someone out.
Despite these early struggles, I’ve made significant strides in building my confidence as an adult. Starting my coaching business is the pinnacle of this transformation. Despite my doubts, I decided to go for it and have constantly adjusted and improved my business, learning from every experience. I’ve come to understand that natural doubt should not hold us back. Instead, we should change our relationship with it.
Personal Application and Helping Others
Starting my coaching business was a significant step in my journey. Despite my doubts, taking small steps and celebrating small wins helped build my confidence. Managing and reframing my doubts has been crucial, and I’ve found that planning for potential failures while taking steps to minimize them is a smart approach.
As an empowerment coach, I strive to help others by encouraging them to take action despite their doubts. I assist clients in reframing their relationship with doubt and normalizing failure, seeing it as an opportunity for growth rather than a hindrance.
Conclusion: Empowerment Leads to Confidence
Building confidence involves taking action, managing doubt, and embracing failure as a learning opportunity. By understanding and aligning with our core values, starting small, and adopting a measured approach, we can foster confidence in ourselves and others.
But confidence doesn’t exist in isolation. Feeling empowered plays a crucial role in building and sustaining confidence. When you feel empowered, you have control over your decisions and actions, which naturally boosts your confidence. Empowerment involves making informed choices, trusting your judgment, and taking control of your path, creating a solid foundation for lasting confidence.
Let’s continue this journey together!
Garry Haraveth is on the Advisory Board for the Cortland LGBTQ Center. He is an educator as well as a personal life coach and owner of Gay Life Journey (gaylifejourney.com).