I Don’t Crush on Everyone

Q: When I came out to my parents as bisexual, they were supportive. (Yay!) However, now they keep assuming that I want to date all my friends. How do I get them to understand that being bisexual doesn’t mean I automatically like everyone?

A: First of all, congrats on coming out! I’m so thrilled to hear that your parents are being supportive, even if they don’t fully understand what it’s like being biseuxal. Your parents’ assumption that you’ll be romantically interested in every person you meet isn’t uncommon, though it is (as you know) incorrect.

How you explain this to your parents depends a bit on your relationship. If you’re close, you could try talking to them about the types of people you are interested in. Just because you like more than one gender, doesn’t mean everyone makes your heart flutter.

If talking to your parents about your past or current crushes sounds terrible (which is fair!), you can be more general. It’s pretty universally understood that straight girls don’t want to date every boy they know, and straight boys don’t want to date every girl they know. You could try explaining that it’s the same for bisexual people. Additionally, platonic friendships are just as important to bisexual people as they are for everyone else!

It’s possible that your parents will still ask about possible crushes on your friends. That might be their way of showing interest in your life. It could be their way of letting you know they’re comfortable if you want to talk about dating with them. If that’s not a conversation you want to have, you can try redirecting their interest to other topics, like the shows you like or the joy you’ve found in connecting with others in the LGBTQ community. Sometimes, our loved ones need a little help learning how to best support us, and you can help guide them.