Healthy Relationships

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Intimate partner violence, or IPV, is more common than you may think. Approximately 1 in 3 teens and young adults experience physical or emotional abuse from a romantic partner, and this percentage increases with age; about half of college-aged women report experiencing IPV.

Many people assume relationship health is black-and-white; that relationships are either healthy or abusive. In reality, relationship health exists on a spectrum:

A partner may be healthy in some ways, but unhealthy in others. Dating abuse is a pattern of controlling behavior, which means that initial warning signs may be difficult to notice. Many behaviors may start out as infrequent or seem small. Some warning signs of abuse include:

· Checking your phone without your permission

· Pressuring, guilt-tripping, or threatening you to do things

· Embarrassing you in front of others

· Explosive anger, especially with verbal or physical harm including breaking or throwing objects.

Because dating abusive often follows a pattern, it may be the case that a partner is remorseful and apologetic after being abusive, and may make false promises to change. An abusive partner may also be dismissive of your feelings and insist that what they’re doing is not abuse.

It’s important to ask honest questions about your relationship such as:

· Does the relationship feel fair and equal?

· Is there consistent, honest, and respectful communication from both partners?

· Does the relationship make me happy?

· Do I feel trusted, safe, and respected by my partner?

One way to assess your relationship is by using the self-assessments from LoveIsRespect.org, including their quiz: Is Your Relationship Healthy?
Remember that you deserve a healthy relationship - don’t compromise on your standards and boundaries.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship and needs help, Aids to Victims of Violence (AVV) in Cortland can help. They offer:

· Crisis Intervention

· Legal Referrals

· Counseling and Support Groups

· Advocacy and Education

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