COVID-19

Q: I’m stuck at home now because of COVID-19, and I’m really stressed about not being in school and not being able to visit my friends. I’m gay (and my parents aren’t supportive), and I’m not sure how to stay connected when we’re all supposed to stay apart. How do I get through this?

A: First, I want you to know that it’s totally normal to feel stress and fear right now. What’s happening in our community (and the country and world as a whole) hasn’t happened on this scale in any of our lifetimes. It can be scary to think about businesses and schools being closed down or worrying about who might get sick. There’s also a lot of uncertainty that adds to those negative feelings. While all those feelings are normal and expected, it’s important to find ways to feel other emotions, too. Your instinct to connect with other people is a great one. The key is finding ways to connect emotionally while staying physically apart. The need for community can be especially important for LGBTQ people if our families aren’t supportive.

Here are some of the things that can help:

Reading novels about LGBTQ main characters can be a great escape and a way to find a sense of community even if you’re alone in your room. Two of my favorites include Reverie by Ryan La Sala (a contemporary fantasy novel about a gay teen with missing memories and unexpected magic) and Hot Dog Girl by Jennifer Dugan (a summery romantic comedy about a bisexual girl who tries to save an amusement park and win the heart of her crush all while wearing a hot dog costume). There are lots of great LGBTQ books, and we’ll be featuring some of them on our Instagram while our staff is working from home.

Searching for the things in your life that have stayed the same can also help all the changes feel more manageable. Perhaps you have more time to listen to your favorite music, maybe even while you’re still doing homework for school. Or maybe you have a sibling who is still trying to learn all those TikTok dances. If you’re still struggling with difficult emotions, journaling about those feelings can be a helpful way to process them if you feel up to it.

You can also try setting up calls or group video chats with your friends. It’s great to see a familiar face, even if it’s through a screen. I’ve found hearing someone’s voice (especially if you can also see them) helps me feel more connected than just seeing words on a screen, such as texting. Additionally, you can use a service like Netflix Party to watch a show or movie with your friends. It may not be as fun as going to the theater together, but at least you get to bring your own snacks! 

If your friends aren’t available, you can also chat with staff from the Cortland LGBTQ Center. While we’re working from home, you can set-up a one-on-one video call on Zoom.

Finally, there are a lot of wonderful resources that you can reach out to for additional help. The NYS Office of Mental Health has set up a phone line (1-844-863-9314) where you can access free and confidential support from a counselor. For LGBTQ-specific support, The Trevor Project is available by phone (1-866-488-7386), texting (text START to 678678), or online chat (www.thetrevorproject.org)

Stay well out there, wash your hands, and reach out for support. We’re here for you.