Isolation
Q: I’m having a really hard time dealing with self-isolation. I was out about being gay at college, but now that I’m home, I feel like I have to go back in the closet. My family is always making jokes about gay and transgender people, and I don’t want to risk coming out to them when I’m stuck living here. How can I cope?
A: I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Please know that you’re not alone in this feeling. NBC News reported at the beginning of this month that many LGBTQ college students are facing similar struggles of returning home to unsupportive (and even hostile) family situations. The shift to home can be especially hard if you had a strong support network on campus—such as an LGBTQ club or lots of LGBTQ-identifying friends.
Going back into the metaphorical closet is hard, no matter how necessary it feels. It’s normal to feel a sense of grief or anger at having to hide a part of yourself to maintain your safety. Though it may feel unfair, there is no shame in doing what you can to protect yourself from people who may not accept you. This is especially true when you have to live with those individuals for an unknown amount of time.
Knowing others are currently sharing your struggles isn’t always enough to find a sense of inner strength, and that’s okay, too. There are places you can turn to seek support and a sense of community. If your school had an LGBTQ organization, you can reach out to see if they’re hosting virtual video calls. If they don’t, we’re hosting online events through Google Hangouts and Zoom here at the Cortland LGBTQ Center. You can find out more about our online events via our website and social media pages.
If you don’t have the space in your home to talk about your experiences without family members overhearing, The Trevor Project, the leading organization that provides crisis support and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ people under 25 years old, offers free text and chat services for those who can’t comfortably speak about their concerns without being overheard. From your computer, you can go to www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help-now to access the online chat. From your phone, you can text START to 678678 to get connected to support.